


Unwrap the Package

by zebraljb



Series: Cheesevember 2018 [27]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 09:52:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16762783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: PROMPT - StripperOh, poor clueless Harry and Merlin.  Roxy and Eggsy have to take drastic measures to make them open their eyes and see that what they want is right in front of them.





	Unwrap the Package

UNWRAP THE PACKAGE

“So.” Eggsy falls into one of Harry’s desk chairs and smiles at him.

“Good morning, Galahad. So nice to see you.” Harry leans back in his chair. “May I help you with something?”

“Yes. Merlin’s birthday is on Friday.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Didya get him somethin’ nice?”

“Of course I did,” Harry says in an insulted tone. “I always do.”

“Harry.” Eggsy pinches his nose. “Harry, when ya gonna tell him?”

“Tell him what? Happy birthday? I was planning on doing it on Friday.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ…ya call ME exasperating!” Eggsy takes a deep breath. “Harry, ya love Merlin. Ya know ya do. An’ he loves you. Fer all tha bickerin’ ya do…fuck. Yer like an’ old married couple.”

“We are old friends. We don’t…”

“Oh you so do.” He leans in. “Tell me ya don’t like it when he wears that purple button up ta work instead of a jumper. Tell me ya don’t like tha way it stretches across his shoulders an’ chest.”

“Sounds like someone has a crush,” Harry says primly.

“No, sounds like someone can accept tha fact that Merlin is fit as FUCK.” Eggsy thinks for a moment. “Harry, ya deserve ta be happy. I know ya think yer unlovable, undesirable, but it’s not true. Yer the biggest badass I’ve ever known, plus yer right fit as well. An’ Merlin…Jesus. He’d bend over backwards for ya. Probably forwards, too,” Eggsy says with a wink.

“Are you quite finished?”

“Harry…” Eggsy pinches his nose again. “I love ya. So much. An’ I love Merlin. You two deserve tha world…you’ve given up yer lives for Kingsman, an’ you’ve earned tha right ta be happy. An’ ya make each other happy.”

“I appreciate your concern, Galahad.”

“Fuckin’ stubborn prick,” Eggsy growls.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, sir,” Eggsy says in a proper accent. “I’ll leave you to your work, then.” He gets up and walks to the door. “Think about it, Haz,” he says as he opens the door. “I think you would be the best present he could ever receive.”

Harry frowns as Eggsy leaves the office. He hadn’t realized his feelings were so obvious, but Eggsy, of all people, would have picked them up. Not only is he quite perceptive, but he spends the most time with Harry outside of work. As sweet as Eggsy is, however, he’s mistaken. Merlin would never return Harry’s feelings. He loves Harry as a friend, true, but he doesn’t want anything more. And Harry’s resigned himself to that fact. He resigned himself to that fact back in the 1990s.

“Well?” Roxy grabs Eggsy’s arm as they pass in the hall.

“Mission failure.”

“Damn.” She sighs and squares her shoulder. “Time for plan B.”

“Good luck, Lancelot.”

“Thank you, Galahad.” She goes to Merlin’s door and knocks.

“Come in.”

“Excuse me for interrupting you, Merlin.”

“I always have time for you, Lancelot. You don’t touch my things.” Merlin waves her in.

She grins as she sits near his desk. “Eggsy played with your gear again?”

“Why must he ALWAYS be touching something?” Merlin practically whines. “He cannot be in this office without tinkering or playing or fidgeting.”

“Perhaps you could follow the example of a doctor’s office? They usually have a box of toys for children to play with while they wait.”

Merlin looks impressed. “An excellent idea, Lancelot. I will make him think it’s actually something I’m working on, but instead it will do absolutely nothing but keep him occupied. I owe you one.”

“My pleasure, sir.” Roxy smiles at him.

“Now, do what do I owe the honor of this visit?”

“Well, I just wanted to say thank you for inviting me to your birthday get-together this Friday.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re one of the less annoying knights.”

“Thank you, I think,” she says and he winks at her. “But I am surprised that you’re having it at your home.”

“I’m most comfortable there, and I easily have enough room for the few people I’ve invited. Plus Harry has promised to have a service not only cater the meal, but clean up afterwards. Will you be bringing someone?”

“No…Eggsy and I will keep each other company. I did…overhear Harry say something about a plus one, though.” She turns her face into a mask of innocence.

“Oh…oh really? He didn’t say anything to me.” Merlin starts lining up the items on his desk. His tablet, his clipboard, his phone, his pens. All in a straight line. He then reorganizes them horizontally.

“Well, maybe he felt awkward, bringing a stranger into a group of friends such as ours,” she suggests.

“Perhaps.” Merlin fidgets a bit more and Roxy feels sorry for him. He’s so clueless. “Anyone Harry is seeing…bringing…would be welcome in my home, of course.”

“That’s what I figured,” Roxy says with a warm smile. “You two are so close.”

“Yes,” Merlin says absently.

“Well. I’ll let you get back to work.” She stands and lets herself out of the office.

Roxy finds Eggsy working out in the gym. She waits him for finish on the treadmill and hands him a towel. “Well?” He pants.

“He was devastated. He doesn’t know it, of course, but he was. He lined things up on his desk…and looked like a lost puppy.” She frowns. “I felt bad lying to him.”

“This is serious business, Rox. These two idiots need their heads bashed together, but this is tha next best thing.”

“Are you fully prepared to move to the next part of Plan B?”

“Oh yeah,” Eggsy says with a wicked smile. “Been practicin’ fer a week, haven’t I?”

“I’m half afraid to even ask.”

“Just you wait, Rox. Gonna do tha job perfectly.”

“Happy birthday, Merlin!” Roxy stands on tiptoe and kisses his cheek when he opens the door.

“Well, thank you, Lancelot…er…Roxanne.” Merlin blushes a bit and takes the gift she hands him. “This wasn’t necessary.”

“Of course it was. It’s a birthday party.” She moves around him. “Percival!”

“Happy birthday, guv.” Eggsy kisses Merlin’s other cheek.

“Really, Eggsy.” But Merlin blushes deeper.

“You can open my gift later,” Eggsy says with a sly grin.

“I can hardly wait,” Merlin says dryly. “Harry’s mixing drinks…I’d add something to yours. He’s making them a bit strong.”

“Thanks fer tha warnin’.”

Merlin watches Eggsy hurry across the room to Harry giving him a hug and whispering in his ear. Harry frowns and looks in Merlin’s direction. Odd. Merlin wasn’t sure how to name the feelings that swirled in his stomach when he opened the door and found Harry there alone. Perhaps his date would be arriving later. He’s been thinking about Harry and this “plus one” since his conversation with Roxy, and that irritates him. Harry is a grown man. He’s allowed to date. A handsome grown man with sexy eyes and long legs. Anyone would be proud to have him. And if this date of Harry’s ends up ditching him, well, Merlin can make the man’s life a living hell. No one makes Harry hurt.

He smiles as he looks into the living room. All the people closest to him have come to celebrate his birthday. Roxy and Eggsy. Percival. Morgana, his second in command at the shop. And Harry. “Thank you all for coming,” he calls out. “This means a great deal to an old man like me.”

“Old man my arse,” Eggsy says. “Bet you could run rings around all of us on tha course.”

“Of course I can,” Merlin says immediately. He wanders over to Harry. “So, food’s ready whenever, then?”

“Yes. All your favorites, of course, and yes, it will be cleaned up tomorrow morning,” Harry promises. 

“You don’t want to…wait?”

“Wait?” Harry looks confused.

“For any…latecomers.”

“Did you invite someone else and they’re not here yet?” Harry looks towards the door.

Now it’s Merlin’s turn to be confused. Perhaps this mystery date already ditched Harry, and he’s being a gentleman about it. Merlin puts an arm around Harry’s shoulders and gives him a half-hug of support, even as his heart cracks slightly. “No. No one else.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served at your leisure,” Harry announces, leaning briefly into the hug before turning to motion to the kitchen.

Everyone fills up plates of food and sits around the dining room table. Eggsy gathers the gifts from the parlor and brings them to the sideboard before sitting down. “Oh, Harry, thank you,” Merlin moans with delight. “I haven’t had this in forever.”

“Like I don’t know your favorite restaurant,” Harry snorts. “And there’s strawberry cake for us to have later.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Merlin says again. Harry really does know all his favorite things.

They decide to wait a bit to have cake and coffee, sitting around the large table and chatting. Eggsy and Roxy clear the dinner dishes away and bring Merlin a small stack of presents. A bottle of scotch, some new jumpers, some books, and an expensive intricate tool set from Harry. “That’s the one you wanted, correct?” Harry asks almost anxiously. “You mentioned it quite a few times, but of course I’m clueless about such things.”

“Yes, Harry, it’s the one I wanted.” Merlin rubs his hand over the box, surprised at how much Harry pays attention to what he says. “Thank you.”

“I believe someone has forgotten a gift.” Harry glares at Eggsy. “Bad form, my boy. Haven’t I raised you better than that?”

“Oi! Ain’t that rude.” Eggsy glares back. “Was waitin’ ta give my gift, that’s all.” He stands up. “Merlin, couldya push yer chair away from the table? Like all tha way to the wall? No, wait.” He looks around the room. There’s a smaller chair without arms by the sideboard. “Couldya sit there?”

“Uh, all right.” Merlin gets up and moves.

“Been wantin’ ta do somethin’ like this fer a while now,” Eggsy says softly, his beautiful green eyes never leaving Merlin’s face. Merlin swallows hard.

Harry frowns as Merlin and Eggsy look at each other. Merlin looks like a deer in the headlights, and Eggsy…Eggsy looks like the cat who’s eaten the canary. Eggsy pulls his phone from his pocket and sets it on the table, scrolling through it and tapping the screen. Music comes pouring out, a string bass with finger snaps.

“Never knew how much I love you…never knew how much I care…when you put your arms around me…I get a fever that’s so hard to bear you give me fever…”

Eggsy slowly saunters over to Merlin, hands sliding up and down his own chest. He sways to the music, hands nimbly unbuttoning his shirt. He lets it slide from his shoulders to his elbows as he carefully climbs onto Merlin’s lap. 

“When you kiss me…fever when you hold me tight…fever…in the morning, fever all through the night…”

Eggsy takes Merlin’s hands and place them on his waist as he rolls his body on Merlin’s lap. He grins down at Merlin, running his hands up and down Merlin’s chest this time. Merlin swallows hard, eyes darting down Eggsy’s toned body before moving up to his face. He looks confused, but not unhappy at what’s happening on his lap. Eggsy licks his lip, tilts his head, and starts to move closer to Merlin’s face.

Harry jumps to his feet, grabs the phone, and turns off the music before he knows what he’s doing. “Stop!” He thunders. He throws the phone at Eggsy, hitting him in the middle of his smooth chest.

“Ow! Fuck! What wazzat for?”

“Stop it this instant. I won’t allow you to…”

“YOU won’t allow me?” Eggsy slowly grins. “Why do you care?”

“Yes, Harry,” Merlin says in a strangled tone. “Why do you care?”

“Because you shouldn’t allow someone to just…paw you, ride you like a fucking horse,” Harry snaps.

“I will repeat myself,” Merlin says. “Why do you care?”

“Because…because I do,” Harry says lamely.

Merlin stands up and Eggsy tumbles to the ground with a yelp. “Why do you care what I do and with whom, Harry? You’re the one bringing a date to MY birthday party. A date. You never told me you were seeing someone?”

“I’m not seeing anyone!” Harry yells. “Why in the world would I be seeing someone when I…”

“Roxanne said you were.”

They both turn to look at her. “I…might have lied?”

“You’re not seeing anyone?” Merlin asks in a quiet voice.

“No, I’m not. And I’ll use the phrase of the day and say why do you care?”

“Because I do,” Merlin says. He clenches his hands into fists. “I’ve cared for a very long time.”

Harry blinks at him. “You…you have?”

“Yes. I care if you’re seeing someone.”

“Well, I care that you allow this boy to writhe all over you half-dressed,” Harry says.

“Ain’t a boy,” Eggsy mutters from the floor.

“All right. I believe it’s time for us to leave. Bring cake to HQ tomorrow, Merlin.” Percival scoops Eggsy up off the floor and grabs Roxy by the arm. “I believe we should have a little talk, Galahad, Lancelot.”

“Good night, Merlin,” Morgana says with a smile on her face.

Suddenly they’re alone and Harry isn’t sure what to do. He clears his throat and looks at his feet before shyly looking up at Merlin. “Eggsy told me I was in love with you. I knew it deep down, of course, but never said the words out loud to anyone. But he saw it. And he said…he said you…you had feelings for me?”

“That lad is far too perceptive for his own good,” Merlin growls. “Although he does give a hell of a lapdance.”

“That wasn’t a lapdance,” Harry scoffs. 

“I know.” Merlin blushes a little. “I remember watching you with a mark in that hotel in Vienna in nineteen eighty-nine.”

“Merlin…what do you feel? If it isn’t what I feel, that’s fine. I’m still always going to…”

“Watching you with honeypots has been one of the hardest parts of my job,” Merlin blurts out. “They think they can touch you, have part of you, and…I wanted that part to belong to me.”

“Oh, Merlin.” Harry reaches up and touches his handsome face. “I wish you’d have said something.”

“Well, YOU could have said something!” Merlin points out. “Stubborn old fool.”

“A pair of stubborn old fools,” Harry says with a grin. “I’m Arthur now…so no more honeypots for me.”

“Yes,” Merlin whispers. He bites his bottom lip and puts his hands on Harry’s waist.

“Happy birthday.” Harry leans in to kiss him, a gentle kiss that grows to the nibbling of lips, the touching of tongues, the press of their bodies against one another.

“Thank you,” Merlin whispers, leaning his forehead against Harry’s.

“Morning, Arthur,” Eggsy calls across the Kingsman dining room. Harry gets himself a pastry and a napkin before wandering over to where Eggsy and Roxy are sitting.

“You lied to Merlin,” Harry says to Roxy.

“I know, sir. I’m sorry, but I just…”

“Your heart was in the right place, Lancelot, and for that we are grateful.” Harry turns to Eggsy, pinches the tip of his ear, and yanks it.

“Ow, Harry, what tha fuck?”

“You gave my boyfriend a lap dance…you were going to kiss him!”

“Figured you’d stop it…an’ he wasn’t yer boyfriend YET. Told ya I thought he was fit.”

“But he is my boyfriend now. So hands off.” Harry releases him. “Your lapdance skills, however, are appalling. We will meet later this week for a lesson to improve them. Have a nice day.” Harry smiles as he walks away.


End file.
